For some reason, many folks I know who are over 40 get all weird and mean when they go out to eat, especially when they're paying. If they don't get exactly what they want and what they've asked for (or what they've imagined they've asked for), they get all upidy and offended. "That salad was not made precisely to order" they say with a tone of righteous indignation. If they go to a crowded restaurant at the height of dinner hour on a Saturday, they may get all upidy with the seater, and vent their offense by dragging us across town to another restaurant that ends up having an even longer wait.
For the record, I do not think ill of a host for not exercising social power over waiters.
I am, of course, among the most mellow folks in the world when it comes to service people. To give an example, about six months ago, I was at a self-checkout line in Kroger. One of the things I was buying was a box of razors, which happened to be in one of those anti-theft containers that the cashier has to open. They have these four self-checkout machines and one cashier to help folks. When someone gets something like an item in a theft-proof case, cashier's computer tells him or her to open it for the customer. Anyways, the cashier wasn't really paying attention. Being the person I am, I waited patiently for 10 minutes standing there 10 feet from the cashier. I was neither distressed, nor upset, nor indignant, nor offended. Finally, the cashier noticed and came over and opened the box.
I had an odd and quite amusing interaction with the cashier. She apologized profusely as one would expect. I did not yell at her or berate her. Why would I need to do that? I was not in a hurry. Although I was conspicuous, I'm sure she had other things on her mind. Her reaction to my refusal to berate her was one of almost indignation itself. It was clear that she not only expected that I would berate her, but that she almost thought it improper that I failed to do so. I didn't oblige her, which I suppose might have been even meaner than if I had done what was expected and yelled at her.