For some reason, many folks I know who are over 40 get all weird and mean when they go out to eat, especially when they're paying. If they don't get exactly what they want and what they've asked for (or what they've imagined they've asked for), they get all upidy and offended. "That salad was not made precisely to order" they say with a tone of righteous indignation. If they go to a crowded restaurant at the height of dinner hour on a Saturday, they may get all upidy with the seater, and vent their offense by dragging us across town to another restaurant that ends up having an even longer wait.
For the record, I do not think ill of a host for not exercising social power over waiters.
I am, of course, among the most mellow folks in the world when it comes to service people. To give an example, about six months ago, I was at a self-checkout line in Kroger. One of the things I was buying was a box of razors, which happened to be in one of those anti-theft containers that the cashier has to open. They have these four self-checkout machines and one cashier to help folks. When someone gets something like an item in a theft-proof case, cashier's computer tells him or her to open it for the customer. Anyways, the cashier wasn't really paying attention. Being the person I am, I waited patiently for 10 minutes standing there 10 feet from the cashier. I was neither distressed, nor upset, nor indignant, nor offended. Finally, the cashier noticed and came over and opened the box.
I had an odd and quite amusing interaction with the cashier. She apologized profusely as one would expect. I did not yell at her or berate her. Why would I need to do that? I was not in a hurry. Although I was conspicuous, I'm sure she had other things on her mind. Her reaction to my refusal to berate her was one of almost indignation itself. It was clear that she not only expected that I would berate her, but that she almost thought it improper that I failed to do so. I didn't oblige her, which I suppose might have been even meaner than if I had done what was expected and yelled at her.
3 comments:
i think you might be missing something.
background:
there is this trait of the human brain, limbic system, called anchoring where an experience is locked in and for the rest of your life subsequent events are compared to the anchor.
situation:
recently, prices in grocery stores and especially restaurants have sky rocketed!!
my hypothesis:
these over 40 year olds are vocalizing dissatisfaction because suddenly, instead of gradually, the value (cost/service ratio) they are getting is not in sync with their anchor
q
So you're saying service used to actually be better?
nog,
service was different for sure many years ago. better is subjective. also, do not dismiss the cost/value ratio. as prices go up people have higher expectations (even in the same places for the same things).
you waited for 10 minutes because you chose to, and without angst. i would have asked for help and not had angst (my expectations are pretty low. to quote my wife "they get minimmum wage, why should they care?"). but most people would have had angst. the older people let the world know. the younger people say it under their breath or just out of hearing range...
q
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